Timing

Ah well, it looks like I can't go a whole week without worrying!
So this is where I am: CD 15 and waiting to O. I had another negative OPK this morning, so I guess the earliest I could O will be Saturday. In my previous cycles, I used to O between day 14 and 16; last cycle it was day 17. Which I guess is all quite acceptable. I just never thought it would be any later than that. The reason why I'm worrying is that M will be away in Paris from Monday onwards, so if I haven't O'd by Sunday this cycle is somewhat wasted.
I don't really want to think about it too much as I fear that the more I stress, the later O will come; but every negative OPK reminds me of this deadline I have to meet - ugh! Double Ugh really, as I shouldn't really be thinking this way (deadlines, needing to "perform" etc). I hate that this all has become so clinical, such a military procedure. Yet I could never go back to "just relaxing and seeing what happens" as that would drive me even more insane. I just really really hope that I won't O too late this cycle. I'm somewhat hoping for Saturday - as this is also my birthday, I thought it would be somewhat symbolic and oddly romantic if I were to conceive that day, know what I mean?
As for means to distract myself, I have been trying positive visualisation (thanks, Ash!) and have also though (but not done yet) of getting my crochet kit out again. I only started to crochet a few years back - I taught myself using an internet tutorial; not that it's too difficult but I was / am really proud of myself as I'm not a very handy person and several attempts to learn how to knit ended unsuccessfully! I really only do amigurumis, but M gave me a few baby crochet books that I haven't really looked at yet so I might try something like a hat for Teddy. For me, crocheting is a very relaxing activity, and really wipes my mind blank which is quite nice every now and again! I don't know why I haven't done it in such a long time.
In other news, as Teddy is now 1 1/2 years old I took him to get weighed again, and he is now an ounce short of 29lbs (he was 25lbs at 12 months), so he has gained 4lbs in half a year and back on the 91st centile! I haven't measured his height in a while but I reckon he is about 86/87cm / 34 inches, which is about 91st centile too. I don't think he'll ever go back up to the 99th centile, but I think that he's now finally growing normally again thanks to his new found love of food, and that's all I wanted.