Saturday, 27 November 2010


One of the negative "side-effects" of being pregnant is that, if you fall ill, you can take only so much in terms of medication. As someone who is particularly prone to throat infections and tonsilitis, this is not a good thing!
Sure enough, as soon as the weather started to turn cold, I've got myself another throat infection (after boasting the week before that I hadn't had one in months). My head is pounding, my whole body is aching, I can barely swallow and all I'm allowed to take are a few lousy paracetamol a day. Oh well. Things you do for baby, eh?
I'm a bit worried Teddy might be coming down with something too, as he's been very whiney all of yesterday and today and doesn't seem to be his usual bouncy self. But then you never know if it's teeth (16 down, 4 more to go) or something else.
In other news, I've got my 16 week midwife appointment next week - time really seems to fly now after creeping at snail's pace in the 1T!. And after that, only 4 weeks to go until our big scan...
I'm so excited about that. So far, I haven't bought anything for baby yet (because, let's face it, we don't really NEED to buy anything) but I can't wait to buy a tiny outfit once we know what it is. Even if it is another boy, he'll get one little outfit of his own :-)
I don't have a "feeling" at all. I know that plenty of women get these really strong feelings and just "know" if they're having a girl or a boy (or in Adrienne's case, they know even before they conceive!). I feel completely blank in that respect. I had that one blip - it was at our NT scan, and baby was wriggling wildly - and I wanted to say to M, "See how she's waving her hands?". But I don't know if that was because M is so set that this baby will be a girl?

Friday, 12 November 2010

The Bean

The bean is just adorable. And lovely, and cute. I absolutely love the bean with all my heart. He's just my teeny tiny bean!
-Of course, I'm talking about Teddy here. Ever since he first was created, he was "the bean" - even beforehand, I would bug M by saying "I want a bean!". He looked just like a little bean when we first saw him at an ultrasound, at 7 weeks. So the name stayed, although we also frequently use the word just to describe babies or children in general ("A family with four beans", "Oh, look at those cute bean clothes"). If a stranger ever looked at my shopping list, they would probably be thrown by the expression "bean yoghurt" which frequently appears on it.
So yes, when M and I are talking about "The Bean" these days we mean Teddy. Of course he has got lots of other related names too, like the Monkey Bean or the Beanitor (I believe that one is a merge between bean and terminator, a nod to the amount of destruction he can create in a short space of time).
So this makes it a bit weird when we're talking about the "new" bean! Normally, we refer to the new baby as "the second bean" or "bean #2" which somehow doesn't sound right and also makes it sound like it's something less (am I making sense here?). I guess Teddy is just so much "our baby" still that we find it hard to imagine that there will be another, "real" baby here soon. I know that this is probably a silly fear but sometimes I do think, could I ever love another baby as much as I love Teddy? It almost seems impossible. I also feel guilty for taking "me" away from him when the new baby is here; for depriving him of our full attention and love.
I know it's silly really. I have spoken to lots of other mums who all said that the love doesn't halve; it doubles, so you have the same amount as before, for each child. And I know Teddy will benefit from having a sibling to play with and grow up with. But sometimes I can't help thinking of how I won't ever be able to do this or that with him again, or share those quiet moments. Maybe I am just scared of the change that will happen in my life?