Waiting

It seems when you're TTC, you're always waiting for something. First you wait for AF to be over. The you wait to O, then you wait til you can test, then you wait for AF to come.
At the moment I'm not quite sure what I'm waiting for - I keep getting negative OPKs, but I think I might already have O'd... I guess my temps should confirm it in the next few days. But of course there's another nice thing for me to worry about, why don't I get a +OPK when I never had trouble detecting my LH surge before?
Other than that I think I'm mostly out of the depression dip. I think I must have just circled the abyss as I didn't really fall in this time. I'm still not overly keen to see people but the wanting to shut myself off from the world has slightly abated. Plus, I feel angry and bitter a lot of the time, which definitely indicates the depression is on its way out, as when I'm depressed I never feel anything much apart from the occasional bout of self-hatred. Now this anger and hate is definitely directed outwards (i.e. other, predominantly pregnant women). I don't really like myself much at the moment though as it shows what a weak character I am - why do I feel so spiteful towards everyone who's pregnant? Just because I'm not. And whilst I realise how sad and despicable this is I still feel this way.
On a positive sidenote, I think at least M is more on board now. I think he really wants a baby now too - even though he still keeps moaning about it - but he's certainly very enthusiastic when it comes to the babymaking process (I know, all men are!) and will even come up with names sometimes, or saying things like "when we have two" or "with the new baby, ...". That really cheers me up!