(Good) News

It's been a while... and lots has happened.
My dad really is on the mend now. They've moved him to a regular ward now, he's not connected to any machines anymore and he can now eat, talk and walk again (in moderation). I am beyond relieved. When I was there to see him, he was in a coma and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through, to see him like that. He looked barely human, more like a tranquilised animal, with all those wires and tubes going in and out everywhere and machines beeping and hissing. It was awful and I was so glad to have Teddy with me to help me through it and cheer me up. I can't believe that now, only one and a half week later he is already so much better. The doctors are very optimistic now but have also said that when he was admitted, they didn't think my dad would make it. I am so glad he did and that he's recovering, even though it will take a long while for him to get back to normal.
in other news, my combat plan for this cycle has worked out - I'm pregnant! I can't believe I'm writing this, it still feels weird. I took the first test last Wednesday at 9DPO. It was a very, very, very faint line - so faint that I thought I'd only imagined it. Of course that didn't stop me from POAS again the next day. Again I thought if I can only see it in a certain light against a white backdrop, it doesn't count; so I went off to work in a bad mood. Later when I came home, because I'd been thinking about that maybe-line so much, I fished the test out of the bin and looked again -now I could see the faint line qutie clearly. But then of course the 10 minutes were long up, and it said on the package "do not read after 30 minutes"! But I had hope again.
When I tested on Friday, the faint line came up a lot quicker, and was a lot less faint. I showed it to M, who said "yes but that doesn't mean you're pregnant, does it? I thought it was supposed to be a vivid dark line!" Even though I tried to convince him that any sort of line means a positive, he didn't want to believe it. So on Saturday, when I got a yet stronger second line I also did a digital test - and I could wave the word "pregnant" in M's face!
It still feels strange though. Here I am, having obsessed about TTC and getting pregnant for so long, and now that it's become real it feels --well, unreal. I still can't quite believe it myself. Even though this time, I can "feel" things a lot more, which makes it even stranger. apart from the tender bbs, I can also feel my uterus - it's sort of a buzzing, tingling feel - so that I'm really aware of it all day. It's like a constant, soundless humming that radiates from my womb.
The other thing that took me by surprise is the appearance of The Bump. Seriously I knew that you show a lot sooner second time around, but THIS early? I guess it must be down to bloating (although I don't feel bloated) or something else, but it is definitely there.
Well, tomorrow I'll go and see my Dr to register I'm pregnant. Nothing to get excited about - unlike in the US (from what I've read!), over here they don't take any tests at that visit, not even a pregancy test, as they say the HPTs are just as reliable as theirs. So no bloodwork, no scheduling an early ultrasound, no nothing. Which yes, is a bit disappointing. It's so hard to wait for 12-13 weeks until you get the first scan, especially for people like me who worry about everything that's there and everything that isn't. I will probably be seen by the midwife earlier than that, but then she doesn't do much apart from taking down the medical history.
The one thing I want to do tomorrow though is ask if I could have a different midwife. In this region you get a community midwife who is responsible for a certain area and linked to several doctors' surgeries. Truth be told the midwife for this area is awful - she has no interest in the women she attends to, nor their babies, nor the questions they might ask (at first I thought it was only me, but upon meeting other women after having given birth I realised we all felt that way). So I don't know if anything can be done apart from me switching to a different doctor's surgery, but we'll see.