So with astonishment I notice I haven't updated this blog in ages. I totally blame my new iPhone for this- I got it for Christmas and haven't really bothered to get my laptop out at home since. Lazy! But then I realised I could also blog from my phone so here we go :-)
It turns out my feeling was wrong- we're having another boy! I am beyond thrilled. Funnily enough, when we had the ultrasound and I saw him on the screen I "knew" it was a boy. Anyway he was well and healthy (I assume he still is!) and I'm so looking forward to having two boys.
Of course now there is also the renewed hope that M might at some point agree to a third! But I'll probably have to wait and see; bide my time and be patient and not mention it to him. That being said I have already decided that I want baby #3 to be born in August or September 2014, ha ha!
Other than that I'm absolutely shattered today. Not only because of preggo tiredness and the fact we had Teddy's childrens birthday party today (there will be another one on his actual birthday), but also because Teddy's teething again and the past two nights woke up 5-6 times. It's just like having a newborn again! Well I guess it's easier as he's easy to settle and I'm not up for more than 5 minutes each time; but disrupted sleep isn't really something that works well for me. I can't say I'm much looking forward to that part again! We were so lucky with Teddy as he slept for long stretches quite early on - what are the odds of that happening again?
So on this note I'll finish this post, no doubt I'll be in bed very soon hoping to catch some zzz before the first wake up call...
Friday, 18 February 2011
Thursday, 30 December 2010
I've got a feeling...
... a feeling I can't hide, oh no!
-But let's skip the Beatles songs. I think I have mentioned before that I don't have a feeling - no gut instinct convincing me that this is a boy / girl.
Well, in a way I still don't have a feeling; or if I do I don't trust it. However, I have noticed that whenever I think of the baby I think of it as "she", as in "She's kicking a lot today", or "In X number of days we'll get to see her again", "Teddy's little sister". As soon as I think it it sort of catches me by surprise and I go "What? Who said it was a girl?" But I still keep doing it.
So as we have our big u/s tomorrow I guess I'll find out then if my unconscious mind was right! I am rather surprised that I think it's a girl, especially as I'm slightly hoping more for a boy. It's just this whole DH not wanting a third child business - I feel that if this one was a boy, at least I could have a shot at convincing him at some point (in the distant future...).
But oh well. In the end, it doesn't really matter, right? Above all I hope that this little one is healthy, growing ok and no other problems show up.
I'll also have my first appointment with the consultant afterwards so I'm quite excited about that too; though I've already been warned that most of my time will be spent in the waiting room!
-But let's skip the Beatles songs. I think I have mentioned before that I don't have a feeling - no gut instinct convincing me that this is a boy / girl.
Well, in a way I still don't have a feeling; or if I do I don't trust it. However, I have noticed that whenever I think of the baby I think of it as "she", as in "She's kicking a lot today", or "In X number of days we'll get to see her again", "Teddy's little sister". As soon as I think it it sort of catches me by surprise and I go "What? Who said it was a girl?" But I still keep doing it.
So as we have our big u/s tomorrow I guess I'll find out then if my unconscious mind was right! I am rather surprised that I think it's a girl, especially as I'm slightly hoping more for a boy. It's just this whole DH not wanting a third child business - I feel that if this one was a boy, at least I could have a shot at convincing him at some point (in the distant future...).
But oh well. In the end, it doesn't really matter, right? Above all I hope that this little one is healthy, growing ok and no other problems show up.
I'll also have my first appointment with the consultant afterwards so I'm quite excited about that too; though I've already been warned that most of my time will be spent in the waiting room!
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Another year over, and a new one just about to begin...
Happy Christmas anda happy New Year, if anyone's reading!
2010 has been a funny year. There have been rough times, especially Molly's and my FIL's deaths. M and I had a minor crisis when it came to whether or not we'd have another child. We also had some financial difficulties - or rather, we had to work out what to do to avoid getting into financial difficulties. We tried, and failed, to buy a bigger house; and it's looking rather bleak on the housing market still.
On the plus side, we overcame our rough patch. We tried for another baby and got pregnant (although it did take longer than I would have liked). We are managing our money perfectly now and keep on saving month after month, and building up a nice little nest egg. The house that we live in is perfectly adequate for now and probably for another year still; and the forecast is that house prices will fall again next year.
Teddy has grown up so much. I mean, of course he has - he's a toddler and growing (and learning) like crazy. It's weird to think sometimes how much he can do now although I still consider him to be my baby; and how soon we'll have a "real" baby again and will have to start from scratch again. Yes, that does slightly scare me - not too keen on those first few weeks!
M has been fatastic this year. He helped me so much when Molly died; he finally came around regarding another baby; and he worked his socks off to provide for us all. I am truly thankful to have such a wonderful husband, although I do moan sometimes (a lot of the time?) that he doesn't do enough around the house. But you can't have everything, right? :)
So, I'm really looking forward to 2011. It can only get better! Teddy will become a big brother, and hopefully we'll find our dream house, and the rest is pretty much in place already! I feel blessed to have such a good life and let's face it, nothing really to complain about.
I hope 2011 will be a good year for everyone I know, in real life and online.
2010 has been a funny year. There have been rough times, especially Molly's and my FIL's deaths. M and I had a minor crisis when it came to whether or not we'd have another child. We also had some financial difficulties - or rather, we had to work out what to do to avoid getting into financial difficulties. We tried, and failed, to buy a bigger house; and it's looking rather bleak on the housing market still.
On the plus side, we overcame our rough patch. We tried for another baby and got pregnant (although it did take longer than I would have liked). We are managing our money perfectly now and keep on saving month after month, and building up a nice little nest egg. The house that we live in is perfectly adequate for now and probably for another year still; and the forecast is that house prices will fall again next year.
Teddy has grown up so much. I mean, of course he has - he's a toddler and growing (and learning) like crazy. It's weird to think sometimes how much he can do now although I still consider him to be my baby; and how soon we'll have a "real" baby again and will have to start from scratch again. Yes, that does slightly scare me - not too keen on those first few weeks!
M has been fatastic this year. He helped me so much when Molly died; he finally came around regarding another baby; and he worked his socks off to provide for us all. I am truly thankful to have such a wonderful husband, although I do moan sometimes (a lot of the time?) that he doesn't do enough around the house. But you can't have everything, right? :)
So, I'm really looking forward to 2011. It can only get better! Teddy will become a big brother, and hopefully we'll find our dream house, and the rest is pretty much in place already! I feel blessed to have such a good life and let's face it, nothing really to complain about.
I hope 2011 will be a good year for everyone I know, in real life and online.
Friday, 3 December 2010
Sick Baby
As I'd feared in my last post, Teddy has come down with a big, fat cold, just like me. Only his seems to be getting worse. He was coughing so much last night it woke him up, and even after I'd been in to settle him he was breathing so hard it sounded like Darth Vader in his last stages. Even though it was 3am, I was wide awake as I kept listening to him breathing, and started to panic when I couldn't hear him - all of a sudden I remembered that SIDS is always connected to the baby having breathing difficulties, e.g. by having a cold... and yes, I know that he's old enough now really and that he would wake up if he really couldn't breathe anymore. But that still doesn't help when you worry your head off in the middle of the night.
So the next time he woke up I took him into our bed. M wasn't happy about this at all, but tough! I won't have my sick baby alone in his own bed when he's feeling so poorly. Of course, having Teddy in the bed meant that now I could physically not sleep anymore - first he shuffled into position as close to me as possible, so my head was half off the pillow and I was breathing in his hair. Then he started kicking his way around; and finally ended up snuggled up on top of the duvet, across my legs. Which meant at least I could breathe again, but I was fairly stuck and couldn't move my legs...
So it came as a bit of a surprise that we all overslept this morning! I'm currently working Friday mornings as well (just until the end of December) so today was one of those days where we really HAVE to get up at 6.30 to get ready for work and to get Teddy to nursery. Well, M woke up at 7.30 and we just rushed through the motions. I was only 10 minutes late at work, but now I feel all sleepy-headed and not quite there - I do need my time to get ready in the mornings!
I'll take Teddy to see the Dr this afternoon, just to rule out a chest infection. Generally it's all a bit easier now when Teddy is ill, as he can communicate his needs so much better. For example, last night after his bath he pointed to the Calpol bottle (baby paracetamol) and said, "Teddy med-zen!". I wasn't going to give him any, as he seemed ok to me, but I still asked him if he needed to take his medicine. Teddy's reply was: "Yes! Teddy med-zen, good boy! Okay?" So he happily took his half spoon of Calpol without fussing (it used to cause him to vomit, which I think was always more a psychological thing than something physical).
Oh well, at least if we have it now, we'll be alright for Christmas! Let's just hope that M won't catch it off us now...
So the next time he woke up I took him into our bed. M wasn't happy about this at all, but tough! I won't have my sick baby alone in his own bed when he's feeling so poorly. Of course, having Teddy in the bed meant that now I could physically not sleep anymore - first he shuffled into position as close to me as possible, so my head was half off the pillow and I was breathing in his hair. Then he started kicking his way around; and finally ended up snuggled up on top of the duvet, across my legs. Which meant at least I could breathe again, but I was fairly stuck and couldn't move my legs...
So it came as a bit of a surprise that we all overslept this morning! I'm currently working Friday mornings as well (just until the end of December) so today was one of those days where we really HAVE to get up at 6.30 to get ready for work and to get Teddy to nursery. Well, M woke up at 7.30 and we just rushed through the motions. I was only 10 minutes late at work, but now I feel all sleepy-headed and not quite there - I do need my time to get ready in the mornings!
I'll take Teddy to see the Dr this afternoon, just to rule out a chest infection. Generally it's all a bit easier now when Teddy is ill, as he can communicate his needs so much better. For example, last night after his bath he pointed to the Calpol bottle (baby paracetamol) and said, "Teddy med-zen!". I wasn't going to give him any, as he seemed ok to me, but I still asked him if he needed to take his medicine. Teddy's reply was: "Yes! Teddy med-zen, good boy! Okay?" So he happily took his half spoon of Calpol without fussing (it used to cause him to vomit, which I think was always more a psychological thing than something physical).
Oh well, at least if we have it now, we'll be alright for Christmas! Let's just hope that M won't catch it off us now...
Saturday, 27 November 2010
Headache
One of the negative "side-effects" of being pregnant is that, if you fall ill, you can take only so much in terms of medication. As someone who is particularly prone to throat infections and tonsilitis, this is not a good thing!
Sure enough, as soon as the weather started to turn cold, I've got myself another throat infection (after boasting the week before that I hadn't had one in months). My head is pounding, my whole body is aching, I can barely swallow and all I'm allowed to take are a few lousy paracetamol a day. Oh well. Things you do for baby, eh?
I'm a bit worried Teddy might be coming down with something too, as he's been very whiney all of yesterday and today and doesn't seem to be his usual bouncy self. But then you never know if it's teeth (16 down, 4 more to go) or something else.
In other news, I've got my 16 week midwife appointment next week - time really seems to fly now after creeping at snail's pace in the 1T!. And after that, only 4 weeks to go until our big scan...
I'm so excited about that. So far, I haven't bought anything for baby yet (because, let's face it, we don't really NEED to buy anything) but I can't wait to buy a tiny outfit once we know what it is. Even if it is another boy, he'll get one little outfit of his own :-)
I don't have a "feeling" at all. I know that plenty of women get these really strong feelings and just "know" if they're having a girl or a boy (or in Adrienne's case, they know even before they conceive!). I feel completely blank in that respect. I had that one blip - it was at our NT scan, and baby was wriggling wildly - and I wanted to say to M, "See how she's waving her hands?". But I don't know if that was because M is so set that this baby will be a girl?
Sure enough, as soon as the weather started to turn cold, I've got myself another throat infection (after boasting the week before that I hadn't had one in months). My head is pounding, my whole body is aching, I can barely swallow and all I'm allowed to take are a few lousy paracetamol a day. Oh well. Things you do for baby, eh?
I'm a bit worried Teddy might be coming down with something too, as he's been very whiney all of yesterday and today and doesn't seem to be his usual bouncy self. But then you never know if it's teeth (16 down, 4 more to go) or something else.
In other news, I've got my 16 week midwife appointment next week - time really seems to fly now after creeping at snail's pace in the 1T!. And after that, only 4 weeks to go until our big scan...
I'm so excited about that. So far, I haven't bought anything for baby yet (because, let's face it, we don't really NEED to buy anything) but I can't wait to buy a tiny outfit once we know what it is. Even if it is another boy, he'll get one little outfit of his own :-)
I don't have a "feeling" at all. I know that plenty of women get these really strong feelings and just "know" if they're having a girl or a boy (or in Adrienne's case, they know even before they conceive!). I feel completely blank in that respect. I had that one blip - it was at our NT scan, and baby was wriggling wildly - and I wanted to say to M, "See how she's waving her hands?". But I don't know if that was because M is so set that this baby will be a girl?
Friday, 12 November 2010
The Bean
The bean is just adorable. And lovely, and cute. I absolutely love the bean with all my heart. He's just my teeny tiny bean!
-Of course, I'm talking about Teddy here. Ever since he first was created, he was "the bean" - even beforehand, I would bug M by saying "I want a bean!". He looked just like a little bean when we first saw him at an ultrasound, at 7 weeks. So the name stayed, although we also frequently use the word just to describe babies or children in general ("A family with four beans", "Oh, look at those cute bean clothes"). If a stranger ever looked at my shopping list, they would probably be thrown by the expression "bean yoghurt" which frequently appears on it.
So yes, when M and I are talking about "The Bean" these days we mean Teddy. Of course he has got lots of other related names too, like the Monkey Bean or the Beanitor (I believe that one is a merge between bean and terminator, a nod to the amount of destruction he can create in a short space of time).
So this makes it a bit weird when we're talking about the "new" bean! Normally, we refer to the new baby as "the second bean" or "bean #2" which somehow doesn't sound right and also makes it sound like it's something less (am I making sense here?). I guess Teddy is just so much "our baby" still that we find it hard to imagine that there will be another, "real" baby here soon. I know that this is probably a silly fear but sometimes I do think, could I ever love another baby as much as I love Teddy? It almost seems impossible. I also feel guilty for taking "me" away from him when the new baby is here; for depriving him of our full attention and love.
I know it's silly really. I have spoken to lots of other mums who all said that the love doesn't halve; it doubles, so you have the same amount as before, for each child. And I know Teddy will benefit from having a sibling to play with and grow up with. But sometimes I can't help thinking of how I won't ever be able to do this or that with him again, or share those quiet moments. Maybe I am just scared of the change that will happen in my life?
-Of course, I'm talking about Teddy here. Ever since he first was created, he was "the bean" - even beforehand, I would bug M by saying "I want a bean!". He looked just like a little bean when we first saw him at an ultrasound, at 7 weeks. So the name stayed, although we also frequently use the word just to describe babies or children in general ("A family with four beans", "Oh, look at those cute bean clothes"). If a stranger ever looked at my shopping list, they would probably be thrown by the expression "bean yoghurt" which frequently appears on it.
So yes, when M and I are talking about "The Bean" these days we mean Teddy. Of course he has got lots of other related names too, like the Monkey Bean or the Beanitor (I believe that one is a merge between bean and terminator, a nod to the amount of destruction he can create in a short space of time).
So this makes it a bit weird when we're talking about the "new" bean! Normally, we refer to the new baby as "the second bean" or "bean #2" which somehow doesn't sound right and also makes it sound like it's something less (am I making sense here?). I guess Teddy is just so much "our baby" still that we find it hard to imagine that there will be another, "real" baby here soon. I know that this is probably a silly fear but sometimes I do think, could I ever love another baby as much as I love Teddy? It almost seems impossible. I also feel guilty for taking "me" away from him when the new baby is here; for depriving him of our full attention and love.
I know it's silly really. I have spoken to lots of other mums who all said that the love doesn't halve; it doubles, so you have the same amount as before, for each child. And I know Teddy will benefit from having a sibling to play with and grow up with. But sometimes I can't help thinking of how I won't ever be able to do this or that with him again, or share those quiet moments. Maybe I am just scared of the change that will happen in my life?
Thursday, 21 October 2010
So much going on
Wow, so much has happened in the last few weeks. And it hasn't all been great...
First, I started spotting. I had this with my last pregnancy so I wasn't all that worried, but I still went to the Dr just to get an ultrasound. The u/s showed that baby was fine and had a strong heartbeat, but they also found a small haematoma which would have caused the bleeding. Because of this, I'm still classed "threatened miscarriage" and they gave me all the leaflets for this. That actually threw me a bit -when I had the early scan with Teddy, they just said everything looked fine and that was that. Now I still worry a bit that something might happen. On the other hand though, baby measured big for dates (almost a week ahead) which I guess is a good thing - it shows that baby is developing nicely and not lagging behind. It was very weird to see baby on the ultrasound. It made me realise that actually there is a baby in there. That I will (hopefully) have another baby soon. It still feels a bit odd and unreal!
Later that day, things got even worse. My father-in-law had been admitted to hospital a week previously due to heart complaints and fluid retention; and they couldn't diagnose what was going on. That day, he was transferred to another hospital and given the diagnosis of Amyloidosis; and eight hours to live. M got into his car and drove straight to the hospital when his mum phoned him with these news; but when he arrived his dad had already passed away. We were all beyond shocked, it happened so quickly and unexpectedly. M is absolutely distraught, who can blame him, and I'm very upset too. I loved my FIL - he was a great man, very warm and funny and we just got along really well. He was a great Grandad for Teddy; they shared their enthusiasm for tractors and would often go out for a tractor ride when we were visiting. Teddy adored him; when we got there he would shout "Dahn-dad!" and run straight past his grandmother to see him.
In a way I'm happy that Teddy doesn't really understand this yet, as it saves him the pain; but I'm also sad that he will be growing up without his Grandad and probably won't have many memories of him.
we cancelled our planned trip to see my family and stayed the weekend with my mother-in-law. It was very difficult, for obvious reasons, but also very nice that so many people came along and all the family came to help and support each other.
Because we're now not away this week, I will be able to take part in our "girls' night out" on Saturday which I'm really looking forward to. It will be a change from the sadness that surrounds us so much at the moment; and we only ever go out about 2 or 3 times a year. I think I might also "tell" the girls on Saturday - it seems a good opportunity - although part of me is still paranoid about telling too soon and I might go for my 12 week scan in two weeks and find that something has happened. I guess I 'll have to see how I feel that day!
First, I started spotting. I had this with my last pregnancy so I wasn't all that worried, but I still went to the Dr just to get an ultrasound. The u/s showed that baby was fine and had a strong heartbeat, but they also found a small haematoma which would have caused the bleeding. Because of this, I'm still classed "threatened miscarriage" and they gave me all the leaflets for this. That actually threw me a bit -when I had the early scan with Teddy, they just said everything looked fine and that was that. Now I still worry a bit that something might happen. On the other hand though, baby measured big for dates (almost a week ahead) which I guess is a good thing - it shows that baby is developing nicely and not lagging behind. It was very weird to see baby on the ultrasound. It made me realise that actually there is a baby in there. That I will (hopefully) have another baby soon. It still feels a bit odd and unreal!
Later that day, things got even worse. My father-in-law had been admitted to hospital a week previously due to heart complaints and fluid retention; and they couldn't diagnose what was going on. That day, he was transferred to another hospital and given the diagnosis of Amyloidosis; and eight hours to live. M got into his car and drove straight to the hospital when his mum phoned him with these news; but when he arrived his dad had already passed away. We were all beyond shocked, it happened so quickly and unexpectedly. M is absolutely distraught, who can blame him, and I'm very upset too. I loved my FIL - he was a great man, very warm and funny and we just got along really well. He was a great Grandad for Teddy; they shared their enthusiasm for tractors and would often go out for a tractor ride when we were visiting. Teddy adored him; when we got there he would shout "Dahn-dad!" and run straight past his grandmother to see him.
In a way I'm happy that Teddy doesn't really understand this yet, as it saves him the pain; but I'm also sad that he will be growing up without his Grandad and probably won't have many memories of him.
we cancelled our planned trip to see my family and stayed the weekend with my mother-in-law. It was very difficult, for obvious reasons, but also very nice that so many people came along and all the family came to help and support each other.
Because we're now not away this week, I will be able to take part in our "girls' night out" on Saturday which I'm really looking forward to. It will be a change from the sadness that surrounds us so much at the moment; and we only ever go out about 2 or 3 times a year. I think I might also "tell" the girls on Saturday - it seems a good opportunity - although part of me is still paranoid about telling too soon and I might go for my 12 week scan in two weeks and find that something has happened. I guess I 'll have to see how I feel that day!
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